I mentioned I love light—I love the imagery of light, the symbolism of light, the metaphor of light. Light in all its facets represents hope to me, but why? Is it because I grew up reading about light in the Bible? Is it because light has long symbolized purity and goodness in literature? Or is it because of the many times I wasn’t sure if I would make it to morning light, the times the dawn brought hope searing into my heart? In those moments, I didn’t want another day. I wa

Daylight is peace, night a battle. As the sun dips low in the sky, hiding its face from the pain, I gird myself for a siege. Not a physical siege—rather something much deeper, darker, and more dangerous to my soul. At night, I wage war with the darkness in my mind. You might never see it. Follow me through my post-dinner activities and you’d find nothing alarming. I sit in a comfortable recliner in my library with my husband or my son for most of the evening. Surrounded by bo

Motherhood saved me. More accurately, God saved me through motherhood. Becoming “Mommy” opened a new pathway in my mind, a pathway to choosing life for myself, and I am forever changed by it. In high school, I was a straight-A student—responsible, organized, and disciplined. I took part in many extracurriculars, including marching band, concert band, 4H, and church activities. My mind showed the first signs of fraying in 2009, between my freshman and sophomore years of colleg

Light has always fascinated me. Warming, bright lights like the sun; shy, shadowy lights like the moon and the stars; little twinkling strands adorning a Christmas tree; candlelight; lamplight; headlights; neon lights—they have always intrigued me. Light has lifted my spirits and caused me to see things differently than I would have in the darkness, which seems rather obvious until you realize nothing changed except a few more photons bouncing around in the surrounding space.